160 hour challenge

"remember to delight yourself first and then others will be truley delighted"
--SARK

I remember when I was small. Small as in little, before the age of 5. We lived on a military base on Lake St. Claire in Michigan. Our housing development sat right in front of the lake. I remember running across the field of dandelions that lead to the water and playing " no bears are out tonight" with my siblings among the trees. I didn't care what others thought, I just was. I existed back then carefree, sweet and wild.

But then one day I went to school. I had a teacher who was mean. She put me in corners when I talked to much and she told me my picture of a building I had drawn was ugly. I had drawn a picture of a little utility building by the soccer fields across the street from where I lived. Me, in a creative frenzy, took all the different colors I could find from the crayon bucket and went crazy. I colored every color right on top of the other. I had never done that before and wanted to see what would happen. The result was a black waxy mess,but my creativity and curiosity was satisfied. My teacher however, whose name of which I can not remember, was not satisfied. She looked at my picture and called me out. She told me,the class and the school principal who had walked in the room just in time to hear her rant, that I did not follow directions and that I was bad. Then the principal pipped in. He added to her hurtfulness by agreeing that my picture was indeed the worst he had seen and then threatened me with the "spoon" for not doing what I was told (they used spoons back then).

I was and still am a brave soul, so I took what they gave me and swallowed it down hard. Not wanting them to see me cry I choked back the tears. The teacher gave me a smiley sticker anyway, I still don't know why and I took it and then slowy turned that smiley face upside down to make it into a frown.

The lessons learned: Always do EXACTLY what you are told, fear authority, don't attract attention to yourself in the classroom for fear of being called out and made to feel bad again.

I did just that in Elementary school. That is why I struggled. I was too afraid to ask questions. Good thing I grew up.

I still feel the effects of that dreadful day in kindergarten. I still fear people's critical words and have repressed my creative spirit. You know, the one that filled your soul before you were five. The one that let you believe that Santa Clause was real and magic and that God lived in the brightest sunniest cloud in the sky and thunder really was angles bowling. You could do any thing and it was all possible. So this is what I am doing for the 160 hour challenge
see: http://berginmania.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2008-07-21T22%3A50%3A00-04%3A00&max-results=7

I am going to spend 2 hours a day healing my creative spirit. I am going to love it, hug it, work it and make it sweat until it is back, renewed and fearless. I'll let you know how and keep you posted as I move forward and bandage up the wounds my creativity has endured. This is a journey of the upmost importantce and just maybe you will be inspired to heal your own creative wounds.

I want to live in a world that is limitless and where I can be who I really am without having to censor myself because I am fearful someone will give me a strange look or two or tell me no. I want to live in a world of "YES!".

I now set myself free from creative spirit crushers. Today is the first day of the challenge and already I am feeling refreshed.