Baby Showers Blues

So I went to a baby shower last Saturday afternoon. Very cute. I went to the store and bought some itsy bitsy socks and clothes and found some cute little wrapping for the gifts and off I went to the shower. Because I am a 28 year old woman who has not yet had the pleasure of gettting pregnant and I felt somewhat negative that day I will share what we did and how I reacted to it. FYI this reveals how my mind works. I am complelty obsessed with body image.

FACT: Nikki looked so cute with her now puggey cheeks and round belly. She is a very cute pregnant woman.
My thought: I will never look that cute when I am pregnant! I already am over weight and will never bounce back after having a baby. I am going to look like a giant blob FOREVER!

FACT: All of the moms at the shower are beautiful and fit women and naturally when women get together the conversation always turns toward weight issues. One Mom said, " I never ate so much in my life while I was pregnant. I ate 2 or 3 snacks/ hour." and " I still look pregnant!" (she doesn't).
My thought: I am not pregnant and I eat 2/3 snacks/ hour. And yes people always ask me how many kids I have and want to know when I am due. My thighs are so fat.

FACT: We played the string game where you guess how big the mom-to-be's belly is. Everyone wrapped the string around there own wastes and then added extra string like they were pregnant. many of there string came up short.
My thought: I will just wrap it around my waste and it should be enough. It was too long.

FACT: We had to write out Mom advice cards for Nikki.
My thought: NEVER EVER SHAKE A BABY!

FACT: there was a lot of good food
My thought: Should i eat any more? Will people notice if I have another plate? Look, that skinny Mom is on her second plate. How can she eat like that and stay so skinny? I am doomed for life, I hate food.

FACT: Thank GOODNESS I was not the only person there without kids! There were two of us. Everyone was talking about having kids, going into labor, concieving ( ok, not concieving) and all that stuff.
My thought: Will I ever be ready?

nothing like a baby shower to stir your soul and make you ask questions about your readiness for motherhood. I opted not to keep dwelling on the negative and had a Salad for dinner that night. Today I went out for some excerises too. I may not be most fit and firm person in the world but I try and I am going to keep trying until I get it right. Motherhood is a gift that is often understood to be a burden. Why is that? I think I know the answer: Because it is HARD! Any thoughts?